"Infinite distances exist, even between the closest human beings... But a wonderful living side by side can grow up if (they) succeed in loving the distance between them which enables each to see the other whole against the sky." (Rainer Maria Rilke)

What To Expect in Couples (or Family) Therapy

I became dedicated to providing couple's therapy when a client brought her husband in for a conjoint session. The flesh and blood husband had very little resemblance to the selfish, aloof man that she had described. I discovered how easy it is to fool yourself and/or your therapist in individual therapy, albeit unintentionally.

One partner can single-handedly initiate significant changes in any relationship because a large part of relationship difficulties have very little to do with the other person. Still, 'Conjoint treatment', (with both significant others in the room) is a powerful vehicle for change. I have helped couples build a better, happier marriage after unbearably painful events. I have helped couples leave and find happiness in another way.

More often than not the participants in a couple or family session hope that I can make their (husband, wife, child, etc.) into the person that they wish they were. It can be very disappointing to discover that therapists do not have that power. But once you begin to interact from a "no fault" or "shared fault" perspective, many things can and do change.

Couples therapy can help with:

Isolation and loneliness
Sex, intimacy and infidelity.
Conflicts around money, parenting, in-laws, etc.
Communication difficulties.
Anger, Blaming and defensiveness
Sharing domestic responsibility ("Shared laundry consciousness")
Guilt, codependency,
Substance abuse Preparation for Life Changes: marriage, parenthood, and retirement.